OddFix

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Woman marries Berlin Wall

54-year-old German woman Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer (whose surname translates to “Berlin Wall”) has been diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality, or objectophilia, meaning she can be attracted, aroused, and genuinely fall in love with inanimate objects. When she was 7 she caught her first glimpse of the Berlin Wall on television. It was love at first sight.

Berliner-Mauer began collecting pictures of the wall and saving up money for visits. In 1979 she married the structure before a handful of guests. Berliner-Mauer is a virgin to humans, but insists she had a full, loving, sexual relationship with the wall.

“I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy,” Berliner-Mauer explains. “The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick… my husband is sexier.”

Then, after only 10 years of marriage, tragedy struck. In 1989 the Berlin Wall was torn down. Most of the world rejoiced at this, the wall having been built originally by the Soviets to halt the exodus from East to West Berlin. But Berliner-Mauer was heart broken and horrified. “What they did was awful,” she remembers. “They mutilated my husband.”

Objectophilia is rare but Berliner-Mauer isn’t the only woman to marry landmarks. Erika La Tour Eiffel married the Eiffel Tower and claims to have had torrid love affairs with both the Golden Gate Bridge and the Berlin Wall.

Many years have now passed and Berliner-Mauer is currently “dating” a nearby garden fence. She still mourns for the Berlin Wall and maintains the thought of having a relationship with a human seem ludicrous.

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3 comments on “Woman marries Berlin Wall

  1. Summer DeRoche
    October 13, 2012

    Is she really dating a garden fence? Isn’t that like dating McLovin after being married to Arnold Schwarzenegger?

    • Christian White
      October 13, 2012

      Yeah the garden fence thing is true. It does sound like a joke though. And yeah she’s certainly lowered her standards. I’m sure the fence has anxiety issues about it too. “You were married to the Berlin Wall! Not just any wall! The Berlin wall! How can I compete with that?”

  2. Pingback: 11 People Who Got Married To The Weirdest Things | Times of Education

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This entry was posted on October 13, 2012 by in Weird people.

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